Things I Learned This Week Without Kids

I wrote this piece all the way at the beginning of this summer, but I believe that it is still relevant today…

Having kids around keep you healthy.

Less than 48 hours after the girls left with grandma, I developed what is either a summer cold or a bad allergy attack.

Going to the local pool is weird without kids.

Yes, you can read uninterrupted, but when it comes time to cool off in the water, it looks odd just splashing around by yourself like some deranged manatee, or heavily medicated cat (see pic.)

On a related note, there is no elegant way to get out of the splash trough at the bottom of the waterslide. Points are also lost when you stub your toe on said trough and the golden, hard-bodied life guard gives you a pitying look as you mutter “F***!”

Boozy lunches with your BFF are awesome!

However, it is best to refrain from shopping at your fave store afterwards if you are on a budget.

Wait staff at local bars are ridiculously young looking.

Also, it pays to remember that no matter how much you used to party pre-kids, you cannot do it now. 9pm is now the limit. And don’t call me ma’am!!

All of which brings me to the conclusion that, much as I appreciated a break from the bickering and squealing, (thanks again Joe & Karen Anderson!), I really missed my little critters..

Posted by Andrea & filed under essays, family, funnies, Non-Fiction. This post has 2 comments.